My Sweet Daughter,
I’m watching you right now, you’re wearing your favorite Minnie jammies and talking to yourself while playing with play-doh. You look over at me every so often and ask me to confirm the color or shape of something. You’re so proud of every single creation you make, running to show your brother what you’ve done.
I tell you how much I love you and you say “I wuv you too mama”.You’re only 2.5, most of what you know of the world exists in our little home. It’s a safe space for you to learn and grow, but I know that all too soon home will be just a part of your world. And while my hope is that home stays a prominent place in your heart and my voice remains one of the loudest, I know there will become a lot to compete with. These are the things I want you to know.
I want you to never forget how much I love you. There is nothing you could do, that will change that, I will always love you. That doesn’t mean we won’t disagree or butt heads. Or that we won’t have days that we really don’t like each other very much. I have to be your parent, which sometimes will mean I have to set boundaries or say things you don’t want to hear. Trust me when I say, there are plenty of times I don’t want to have to do it either. But I know that boundaries are good for you, and everything decision I make I pray and ponder over and even when the answer may be no or different than you want, it changes nothing about my love for you.
The time come a time when you look in the mirror and don’t love what you see. As much as I wish I could guarantee it won’t, it will. And you will roll your eyes when I tell you how perfect you are. I know that the world is going to try to tell you that you aren’t good enough and that you need to change. That your hair isn’t right, your body doesn’t look like it’s supposed to. Or that you haven’t got the “right” skills or talents. Oh sweet girl, if only you could see you through my eyes. You are so much more than the number on the scale or the kind of clothes you like to wear.
The size you wear, the makeup you love, the people who follow you on the internet – those aren’t the things people will remember you for. And I know that they feel like the most important things in the world right now. But they aren’t. Do you know what is? The people you surround yourself with, your heart and your kindness. Fight for the things that you believe in, and I hope I will teach you how and when to say No. Those moments when it feels like no one is watching? I am, and I know the world is too.
People may tell you that your womanhood isn’t anything special. That in order to be equal, you need to let go of the things that make you soft. I beg you not to listen to them. Being a woman is something so special, embrace your curves and your vulnerability. As a woman, you will be asked to carry heavy burdens and push through what often feels like muck. But you hold happiness and love. The gift of emotion that is given to us may feel like a burden, but the ability to sing when you want like crying, to feel so deeply you cry when you’re happy and to laugh in the face of fear. That’s something special that our creator knew only we, as women, would be strong enough to handle. I beg of you to celebrate that.
Never be afraid to ask for help. I hope I will have taught you the importance of mental health and that needing extra support is nothing to be ashamed of. My biggest fear is that my own struggle with anxiety with become yours, if it does please know that it is okay and not your fault. And if it doesn’t, help me continue to be a voice for those not as strong. I pray that you will know when enough is enough, and you speak up and say so. No is a word I hope you become so familiar with, that is not scary to use. You don’t have to agree to anything that doesn’t feel you with joy and fulfillment. No one is allowed to take that away from you.
But celebrating your divine womanhood doesn’t mean you are capable or deserving of less than anyone else. There is nothing out of your reach. Don’t you let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. When someone tells you that your voice is too loud or your ideas are too bold, please keep talking. Show them how you can use that volume for good, and how to make waves of kindness. But don’t you back down. When you wonder if you are on the right path, or doubt your decision, remember where you came from. The legacy of women behind you is strong. They are smart and confident trailblazers and creators who move whatever obstacles get in their way, and I hope you learn to tune and lean into that intuition.
Maybe you will choose to be a Mother, and one day this will come full circle. You’ll know just the way I feel as I type this, and just as I do with your grandmother, you’ll have a new found appreciation for what being a woman and mother means. Or maybe you will choose a different path than I have, and you will find your heart filled with another kind of love. Either way, I want you to know that what you choose to do with your life and career does not determine your worth. You were born worthy of all the love, happiness, and success in the world and when your earth side journey is done, you will leave with that same worth.
I love you long time my sweet girl, and I can’t wait for the adventures our journey together holds.